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At the beginning of this year, I knew that there would be the occasional day in which I would resent my mother for coming up with the idea of austerity. What I did not know was that the days in which this occurred would outweigh the days in which it did not!! Goddammit. There are so many things I would do for a veggie burger from the local pub, or a shopping spree! This list includes singing ‘Sorry Miss Jackson’ at the top of my lungs in front a crowd, dancing naked in the hallways at my school and/or giving birth to triplets. Any takers??

I cannot wait for this particular month to be over, because spatial austerity is not happening for me. I feel like Gretchen Wieners in Mean Girls, when she’s trying to make ‘fetch’ happen and it’s just not working for her! I have no need (or want) to get rid of anything. Even if I did, I just don’t have any time at the moment.

Scarily enough, my mom and I went for dinner tonight, (a rare exception, for we owe them for watching our dog this summer) with my best friend and her mom. The dinner went incredibly well and we were having a fabulous time until (DRUM ROLL PLEASE), my mom began talking of the Year of Austere. To our amazement, they’re working on cutting down their eating out and whatnot as well. We thought this was very cool and had a really nice conversation with them about it until (drum roll once more, please), my friend offers to teach me to cook, to help my mom with the cooking! Not only was I completely and utterly TERRIFIED, I was also quite curious to find out what would happen when I set the house on fire. Needless to say, I can’t make toast – let alone an ENTIRE meal!!

Anyway, I’m definitely going to need loads and loads of luck thrown my direction if this whole cooking thing can go well. (Well meaning no one dies of poisoning, choking, or other matters, and nothing sets on fire. Couldn’t care less what the food actually tastes like!) I think I’ve definitely whined enough for one night however, so I should head to bed before I continue. In conclusion, this month is totally not working for me, and is definitely, 100 percent, no questions necessary, NOT FETCH!! … xoxo Chloe

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