Today’s post is dedicated to all the feelings I have eaten over the years. If I named them individually, my post would resemble an Oscar acceptance speech and the band would play while they tried to get me off stage. Awkward….
As this year evolves for us, we are noticing many, many things about ourselves and the experiences we’ve had, individually and as a family, some more challenging than others. My daughter, the future psychologist, has helped me work through many memories – listening and asking questions like a good shrink should. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve lived a pretty charmed life on all the important points – nurturing, loving parents; love-at-first-sight-still-buys-me-roses-just-because-best-friend husband; healthy, intelligent, funny, ethical, beautiful children; inspiring, loving, creative friends; and my health.
I have also lost a beautiful best friend – her years cut short way, way too young. I’ve lost a pregnancy. I lost my dad while pregnant with Nicholas. And, last year, I lost my mom. I’ve also had mama bear stuff. I think if white people had totems, mine would be the polar bear – endangered, cuddly looking, but look at my kids the wrong way and I will eat your face off. Chloe thinks I’m scrappy because I grew up in da ‘hood (aka Everett).
I think I just take all the bullying stuff really seriously. Awareness has grown over the years and the pink t-shirt stuff is awesome, so don’t get me wrong, but most people are posers. They wear the shirts and put up the signs, but when push comes to shove, they refuse to stand the f*ck up. (Fo-shizzle wasn’t going to cut it.) Or maybe they don’t stand up together. Maybe that’s it. Maybe I have a low tolerance for negativity. That’s a nice way of saying a short fuse, I think.
Regardless, I am learning to take a deep breath and carry on with my day, rather than giving in to my Irish temper. Having said that, we’ve pretty much purged all the toxic environments and people in our lives, so it’s pretty easy. Eating my feelings should be a thing of the past soon. Seriously, it’s time.
My advice from the trenches would be to take a hard look at everyone around you and consider their influence over you and your children. And, while difficult, be merciless. It’s your life to live. Don’t cave to guilt or expectation. As far as any of us know, this moment is all that we have. Make it count. Love, Sarah. xoxo