For my inaugural post this month, I thought I should explain what the eff we’re thinking…. First, when we brainstormed austerity topics over nachos and drinks late last year, we came up with 6 solid ideas, 2-4 decent, workable ideas, and 2-4 ideas that were pulled from someone’s a$$. Just keepin’ it real. Emotional austerity was, I’m afraid, one of the latter.
Our end-of-the-month convo in March had several of the topic ideas floated for consideration (yes, Christmas is a topic, but thought December was still the clear winner). We even tried (unsuccessfully) to come up with new topics. We ended up having a pretty awesome conversation about the appropriateness of emotional austerity this month based on the fact that both Glenn and Chloe will be gone for significant portions of the month and we will be missing them. Missing loved ones is the root of several emotions that we would seek to minimize: sadness, loneliness, despair, etc.
Not that we seek to become Vulcan or anything, but excising the lows (and highs) of emotions would seem to be the path to peaceful serenity that is our end goal.
Of course, no sooner had the decision been made than the universe decided to f*ck with me. Seriously, within hours I had a red flag waved in my face (or red lobster, in this case). I was invited to a friend’s birthday dinner during which my husband’s intelligence was insulted (with regard to his choice of hot yoga over cold yoga…. pretty sure it’s hot in India, yo) and a dead lobster was literally waved in my face for at least an entire minute, apparently as derision for my vegetarian-ness. What’s an emotionally austere girl to do? Suck. It. Up. Princess…..
That has left me wondering all weekend about the whole judging people (negatively) vs. judging people (you know, whether or not to ever be in their presence again) problem. I like to think of myself as a fairly open-minded, “everyone’s on their own path” kind of gal, so judging people is 100% not my normal gig. But this is not your normal person either. To be clear, this is not someone in my life, it is a friend of the birthday friend. I have been road-raging it up ever since. Short and ill-tempered, pissy, want-to-tear-a-strip-off-someone mad.
I came home this morning after the gym and decided to ask Glenn what he thought. He is really good at putting things in perspective. So, I posed him the judgment vs. judgment conundrum I was having and in less time than it takes to drink a cup of coffee and eat a slice of peanut butter toast, he had resolved my issue. I guess in spite of his lack of intelligence on the whole hot yoga thing, he’s still smart enough to figure some things out. (Okay, still a little pissy. Grr…..) He said that we shouldn’t be judging other people at all, but rather judge how we feel when we interact with that person. And if we react negatively (like maybe road rage…), then it’s up to us how we go forward. He reminded me that we never know what a person has gone through in their lives to make them into the monsters… oops… awkward…. people they are now. Cut people a little slack so to speak.
Now, he’s more forgiving than me, but then again he has the whole dude thing down. Women are hardly so kind. I like how he figured out my judgment problem so I can stop thinking about it though. I had a much better day thanks to that conversation. A much more emotionally austere day, in fact. 😉
I would like to say that just like that I got my serenity on again, but that’s not the truth. Dealing with negative people sucks the fun out of life and puts me on the path to bitter town, so give me a few more days. Also, I think the universe is a pretty worthy opponent and now that I’ve thrown down on “paper”, I wouldn’t be shocked to find out I had more hurdles to jump. To which, I say, “Go me!”
p.s. Dear birthday girl, if you read this post…. I love you. Not everyone is meant to be friends. xOOx