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Summing up an entire month in one post is difficult to say the least.  Each of the previous months presented unique challenges, but this month was by far the hardest for me personally – for all the reasons stated at the beginning of the month and more.

Chloe is home safe and sound, having thoroughly enjoyed her time abroad.  Of course, now she envisions a future life in Germany rather than here at home and that will, I’m sure, give me a few sleepless nights.  Glenn is currently in Toronto again, his third week this month.  So, whatever topic is settled on for May, I just hope we get to face it together.

To me, this month of emotional austerity has been a rollercoaster ride of emotions.  Pretty much exactly the opposite of what we were aiming for.  The best laid plans and all…  I think moving forward I am going to embrace the following legend:

{An elderly Cherokee Native American was teaching his grandchildren about life… He said to them, “A fight is going on inside me, it is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One wolf is evil—he is fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, competition, superiority, and ego. The other is good—he is joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith. This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person, too.” They thought about it for a minute, and then one child asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win, Grandfather?” The Elder simply replied, “The one you feed.”}

If I ever hope to become the old wise woman I speak of in my bio, I know I need to fight harder, edit more, & change some of my naturally sarcastic thoughts and tendencies.  This month was hard, that’s true, but it has also been the most life-changing.

Until next time, take care of yourself and take some time to feed your good wolf.  It’s probably not just enough to starve the bad one.  s. xoxo

 

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