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Last time we spoke (we didn’t really speak – I was talking, you were reading, hopefully), I promised that my future posts would return to a focus on austerity. I also commented that there are probably a multitude of things that I do regularly that are of an austere nature (I’ve just been too lazy to dredge them up). So, yesterday, I ventured out, my Austerity-detection device set on highest sensitivity, and this is what I came up with…

Now, I know. You guys see this and think – did this guy smoke too much of the good stuff at Woodstock, or what? Ok. It may not be cool to be seen pushing one of these things out in public. But once you get really adept at it, the lightness of this device allows you to scoot out of the public eye as soon as a car turns the corner, or you see the blinds part in the neighbour’s window. But this is the beauty of it. All of the attributes that make a motor-less mower detection-resistant also ensure that its environmentally-friendly (i.e. austere-worthy). To name a few…

1)  It is noiseless, thereby minimizing the attention of your neighbours and removing excess noise from the environment; it DOES make one’s lawn-mowing experience much more relaxing;

2) It is light and relatively compact, allowing easy storage (reducing clutter) and ease of use. This also allows one to finish the mowing quickly. I have been seen actually running back and forth on my lawn, my mower wildly spewing grass before me. Me in my shorts and a pair of decaying “Aldo” slip-on shoes. Hopefully, for your own welfare, you will never witness this.

3)  It is human-powered, meaning no carbon fuels of any kind. Gotta like that! It does make one think, though. The whole concept of a motorized lawn-mower is just stupid. It’s different if you had ten acres and needed to sit on the thing, or had a steep slope and needed a mower that pulled itself along. But how many people have property like that? Who needs an engine to make the blades go around?

4) They are much less expensive to buy, and even to maintain. WIIFY? More money in your pocket, and more free time on your hands.

So, there you go. Hopefully, this post sufficiently meets the criteria of austerity. And I didn’t even have to make this one up!